Skip to main content

Cross and Pain

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24 NIV

Most mornings I go to my prayer room in the basement for about half an hour before going to work. One of the things I do while I'm there is read a short passage from The complete Works of Oswald Chambers and then meditate for about ten minutes on the accompanying Scripture.

I've always tried to wrap my mind around Christ's words about taking up our cross. Crosses before Jesus died were instruments of cruel and painful deaths. Oswald Chambers says (in "Approved unto God") that "the cross is the pain involved in doing the will of God." Now THAT makes sense to me.

If our cross is pain, then what Jesus is telling us is to take up our pain and follow him. There is pain in following Christ. We are not to run from it because that is running from God. Instead, we pick it up. We embrace it. We carry it with us and follow, just as Paul endured much pain because he followed and obeyed Jesus (check out 2 Corinthians 11:25-29 where he lists all the very painful and difficult things he went through).

God, please enable me to pick up my pain and keep it with me so I can follow you rather than running from both it and you. My pain right now is that I want to fill up on chocolate and licorice allsorts but I've committed to fast from these things so that I will draw closer to you (and lose weight). Help me God!


Popular posts from this blog

About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan