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Dragonflies and Freedom

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burnded again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 NIV

Freedom. It’s my favourite word because that is what God has done for me—given me freedom. For three decades I was in bondage to sexual fantasies about being with women. I tried everything I could to stop, knowing that this did not honour God or my marriage but I was unable.

And then one day my fantasy life burst into my real life and I was forced to do something about it. That “something” is the story of my book that is in the process of being published. God is so good and he rewards those who seek him.

Not quite two years had passed and I was seeing a counsellor who was trying to facilitate my freedom. God had done much towards that already but it wasn’t yet complete. I told my counsellor about a victory I had had the night before when I had been on the phone with one of my friends. The love that flowed between us was strong and my tendency was tu turn something like that into another fantasy. But this time I didn’t. I was amazed and as I expressed this amazement, my counsellor asked my why I couldn’t resist everytime? Did it have to be a one time event?

I stared at the wall as I pondered this question. I found myself in a dark, closed in hut, like the prairie soddies made by the pioneers, chains rattling from the heavy shackles and I asked myself. Do I want to stay here? Yes. There was a large part of me that didn’t want to leave the familiarity and comfort of this dark place I’d lived in for so long.

But as I wrestled with these thoughts, I found myself moving closer and closer to a light that had appeard.until I was standing in the doorway, still uncertain whether I wanted the light or the darkness.

One more step and I was out of the hut and into the light, free of the chains and marveling at the incredible view before me—the sky blazing with light and a field of flowering grasses before me. I began to run and dance amongst the flowers and all around me were iridescent dragonflies joining me in the dance. And when I looked back, the hut was gone. I couldn’t have returned had I wanted to.

I was free and I gloried in that freedom, checking myself against it in the coming days to see if it was really true. It was! Christ had set me free.

Alas, I made a series of decisions that returned me to bondage; a slavery that had the potential to be far worse than what I had left. I did not stand firm as Pauls admonishes in the verse above. Christ gives us freedom but that includes the freedom to go back to the mud.

“Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” I am so grateful that our God is a God of second chances. At the moment of decision, at the brink of the abyss, God sent me two friends to stand beside me and urge me to choose God. I did and the freedom that has come from that decision has been more wonderful than I could have dreamed. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”

Thank you, God, for the freedom you have given me. May I never return to the darkness of bondage! Enable me to continue living in this freedom you have given me! Thank you, Lord.


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In My Prayer Room

Oh God
You surround me with your love,
with memories
of who you are
of what you've done
of promises you've made
of who I want to be
of who I am because of you.

You give me hope and joy,
peace and gratitude.
You convict me
and teach me
encourage me
and remind me
of what it means to follow you.

You listen to my prayers
and grant my requests
in your time.
You give me insight
and knowledge
and words to write
to share your presence
your goodness
your love
your admonition
with others.

You expand my love
to pray for friend and foe
near and far
family and stranger
people as pins on maps
clustered and scattered
who know you and reject you
for those in need
and those too full to need.

You draw me close
and then release me
to bring you close to others
to serve
and love
and give
all I have received.

You fill my heart with joy
that warms
and glows
and bursts
into laughter,
and even dance.

You wrap me in your arms
and tell me
"You are mine"
with intensity that burns
and smoul…