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Falling and Rising Again

"...Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again...." Proverbs 24:16a

It's been ten days since I've been here in my prayer room and that's been gnawing on me. Yes, I spend time with God in many other ways and rarely miss a night of reading a good chunk of my Bible, but there's something about coming here and soaking in God's presence that impacts me in a way nothing else does and I've been remiss.

I notice too, that when I slide in one area of my life I slide in others as well. I've been trying to lose weight. I had lost 60 pounds in what I could only conclude was a gift from God because they came off relatively easily. But in the last year I've regained twenty and I can't seem to get them off. In the past couple of weeks I've found ways to justify eating things and amounts that I know I shouldn't. Is my lack of discipline in weight loss connected to my lack of discipline in coming to God? I don't know but it might.

This morning the verse at the top of this post came to me. The idea of falling and getting up again is something I was very familiar with as I battled my same-sex attraction issues. I kept falling but I didn't let that deter me from getting up and continuing my pursuit of God. The principle is the same whether my struggle is with ssa, overeating, avoiding prayer time or any other part of my life. When I see I have fallen, I must get up and keep on going.

Father, please help me persevere in my pursuit of you and in my attempt to follow you in all my ways. Forgive me for avoiding time with you in my prayer room. Forgive me for indulging in ways of eating that I have committed to avoid. Thank you for your grace, Father, and may I honour you in all I do.

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About the Author

DEBBIE HAUGHLAND CHAN
WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, CANADA

I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at debbiehaughland@gmail.com or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …