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Falling and Rising Again

"...Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again...." Proverbs 24:16a

It's been ten days since I've been here in my prayer room and that's been gnawing on me. Yes, I spend time with God in many other ways and rarely miss a night of reading a good chunk of my Bible, but there's something about coming here and soaking in God's presence that impacts me in a way nothing else does and I've been remiss.

I notice too, that when I slide in one area of my life I slide in others as well. I've been trying to lose weight. I had lost 60 pounds in what I could only conclude was a gift from God because they came off relatively easily. But in the last year I've regained twenty and I can't seem to get them off. In the past couple of weeks I've found ways to justify eating things and amounts that I know I shouldn't. Is my lack of discipline in weight loss connected to my lack of discipline in coming to God? I don't know but it might.

This morning the verse at the top of this post came to me. The idea of falling and getting up again is something I was very familiar with as I battled my same-sex attraction issues. I kept falling but I didn't let that deter me from getting up and continuing my pursuit of God. The principle is the same whether my struggle is with ssa, overeating, avoiding prayer time or any other part of my life. When I see I have fallen, I must get up and keep on going.

Father, please help me persevere in my pursuit of you and in my attempt to follow you in all my ways. Forgive me for avoiding time with you in my prayer room. Forgive me for indulging in ways of eating that I have committed to avoid. Thank you for your grace, Father, and may I honour you in all I do.

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In My Prayer Room

Oh God
You surround me with your love,
with memories
of who you are
of what you've done
of promises you've made
of who I want to be
of who I am because of you.

You give me hope and joy,
peace and gratitude.
You convict me
and teach me
encourage me
and remind me
of what it means to follow you.












You listen to my prayers
and grant my requests
in your time.
You give me insight
and knowledge
and words to write
to share your presence
your goodness
your love
your admonition
with others.























You expand my love
to pray for friend and foe
near and far
family and stranger
people as pins on maps
clustered and scattered
who know you and reject you
for those in need
and those too full to need.


















You draw me close
and then release me
to bring you close to others
to serve
and love
and give
all I have received.

You fill my heart with joy
that warms
and glows
and bursts
into laughter,
song
and even dance.

You wrap me in your arms
and tell me
"You are mine"
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I can't imagine life without Mikael. I'm still in shock, running on adrenaline and the drive to give Mikael the best farewell ever and not wanting to miss a moment of the flood of family and friends who have been pouring into our home with cards, flowers, meals, goodies, more meals and goodies, love, prayers and memories. I've been sitting in an armchair where I have a straight line of sight to the front entrance, a…