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I'm Sick

It's been far too long since I've posted here. At the moment, I have a ferocious cold generously given to me by one of my sons. But I'm also struggling with depression and the last two weeks have been particularly difficult. Sometimes the simplest things seem incredibly overwhelming to do. Then I beat myself up and wonder, "What's wrong with me? Am I just being lazy?" In my saner moments I can say that I'm not. There are so many things I want to do, like writing here, but the ability to do those things escapes me. Thankfully I have a husband who has been very gracious about picking up the slack--washing dishes, making meals, vacuuming and so on.

I've been reading some interesting books in addition to my Bible (I try to read a minimum of half an hour a day, just before going to sleep and just started 2 Kings): two on prayerwalking, a novel and a half (not finished the second one yet) set in rural Mennonite Manitoba and The Box, a history of shipping containers and how they have changed the world's economy. This last one is fascinating. I bought it because, living in Winnipeg I see a lot of shipping containers on the many trains passing through and on the backs of trucks on the city's truck routes. I see them and wonder where they came from, where are they going, what do they hold.

It never occurred to me that the logistics of creating a system for using containers would be as complicated as it was. Ships had to be restructured and new ones built, the size and construction of the containers had to be carefully engineered and everyone had to agree to the same standard, new cranes had to be devised and, in fact, major things such as ports and industries wound up being relocated in order to adjust to a new way of shipping. But now, instead of a ship sitting in dock for a week while individual bales and barrels and boxes are unloaded by hand and then reloaded the same way, a ship can be on its way with a new load in less than 24 hours. That's a significant saving.

I'm not finished the book. It takes a bit longer to digest because much of the vocabulary and expected background understanding is beyond me but it's good and its stretching me. So now I'm thinking that every once in a while I should slip into my reading a book whose topic is completely foreign to me. Think of all I'd learn!

Well, this post wandered from the title I gave it but oh well. I think I'll write about the other books another day.


Di said…
((((((((((Sweetie)))))))))))) I'm so sorry you haven't been well. Yay that your husband is helping out so much!!! And that book sounds fascinating!! I think I might try to throw something into my pile that I know nothing about either!

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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …