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Captain of my Soul?

“The Spirit of God is everywhere, would that men would yield to Him! The reason we do not yield is that in the deep recesses of our hearts we prefer the captaincy of our own lives, we prefer to go our own way and refuse to let God govern.” – Oswald Chambers*

It’s much easier and safer to go my own way. At least that’s the way it seems. Yielding to the Holy Spirit and letting God govern carries a lot of risk and there are times that I want the comfort and familiarity of what I know—even when my head and God’s Spirit tell me that the risk of obeying God is far safer than the safety of what I’ve always done.

Why do I so stubbornly resist when I know from experience how much better are God’s ways than mine? I’m so easily deceived—willingly deceived because, though I know that God is infinitely trustworthy, I am afraid to trust him. I have built walls to protect myself from hurt. Is it truly safe to let God dismantle them? Can I lower them, stone by stone as God’s Spirit prompts me despite my fears?

God, I want the life you promise to those who follow you instead of their own inclinations but when it comes down to the crunch, I often choose my ways instead of yours. Forgive me, God! Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t throw me away from your presence, please. Keep me steadfastly listening to and obeying you. Only you can enable me to want you and your ways. Please give me a willing spirit in all ways at all times.º


* "With Christ in the School of Philosophy” in “Biblical Ethics” in The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers page 124.
º Prayer based in part on Psalm 51.

Comments

Samantha said…
So very true--we cling to the familiar rather than looking to God and living.

Thanks for your post today. I needed to remember.

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About the Author

DEBBIE HAUGHLAND CHAN
WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, CANADA

I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

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Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at debbiehaughland@gmail.com or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …