Skip to main content

Captain of my Soul?

“The Spirit of God is everywhere, would that men would yield to Him! The reason we do not yield is that in the deep recesses of our hearts we prefer the captaincy of our own lives, we prefer to go our own way and refuse to let God govern.” – Oswald Chambers*

It’s much easier and safer to go my own way. At least that’s the way it seems. Yielding to the Holy Spirit and letting God govern carries a lot of risk and there are times that I want the comfort and familiarity of what I know—even when my head and God’s Spirit tell me that the risk of obeying God is far safer than the safety of what I’ve always done.

Why do I so stubbornly resist when I know from experience how much better are God’s ways than mine? I’m so easily deceived—willingly deceived because, though I know that God is infinitely trustworthy, I am afraid to trust him. I have built walls to protect myself from hurt. Is it truly safe to let God dismantle them? Can I lower them, stone by stone as God’s Spirit prompts me despite my fears?

God, I want the life you promise to those who follow you instead of their own inclinations but when it comes down to the crunch, I often choose my ways instead of yours. Forgive me, God! Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Don’t throw me away from your presence, please. Keep me steadfastly listening to and obeying you. Only you can enable me to want you and your ways. Please give me a willing spirit in all ways at all times.º


* "With Christ in the School of Philosophy” in “Biblical Ethics” in The Complete Works of Oswald Chambers page 124.
º Prayer based in part on Psalm 51.

Comments

Samantha said…
So very true--we cling to the familiar rather than looking to God and living.

Thanks for your post today. I needed to remember.

Popular posts from this blog

Monogamous, Homosexual Unions--My Position and the Story behind it

I've been asked to be one of two participants at church each representing opposing views on the matter of monogamous, homosexual unions, moderated by the pastor.  In preparation, I have written the following.  In the comments, please do not post any vitriol--from either side. If I think any comment is hateful, I will delete it. Respectful disagreement or questions are welcome, however.















My Position and Values:
I believe that sexual relations between two people of the same sex is contrary to God’s will.I would like to say otherwise but I find nothing in Scripture that allows me to do so.BEING homosexual, having a longing or desire for someone of the same sex, is not condemned in the Bible.  We all have desires that are contrary to God’s will.  The sin occurs when we feed those desires, like Jesus talks about when he calls lust adultery (Matthew 5:28).Much cruelty to LGBTQ people has happened because of the stance of the Church. We have not acted with love, compassion and listening ear…

Eulogy for Mikael

It's 3:13 a.m. as I write this, just hours before Mikael's funeral. I've slept 2 1/2 hours already but when I woke I couldn't get back to sleep. I am so full of joy I have no room for grief. I lay in bed two hours ago, feeling this joy well up into near excitement, undergirded with a peace and contentment that to most people would make no sense. I'm not sure it makes sense to me but I know it's real. God has been so good. He has poured out his blessings on us this week and I feel like we are the most blessed family in the world right now.
I can't imagine life without Mikael. I'm still in shock, running on adrenaline and the drive to give Mikael the best farewell ever and not wanting to miss a moment of the flood of family and friends who have been pouring into our home with cards, flowers, meals, goodies, more meals and goodies, love, prayers and memories. I've been sitting in an armchair where I have a straight line of sight to the front entrance, a…

In My Prayer Room

Oh God
You surround me with your love,
with memories
of who you are
of what you've done
of promises you've made
of who I want to be
of who I am because of you.

You give me hope and joy,
peace and gratitude.
You convict me
and teach me
encourage me
and remind me
of what it means to follow you.












You listen to my prayers
and grant my requests
in your time.
You give me insight
and knowledge
and words to write
to share your presence
your goodness
your love
your admonition
with others.























You expand my love
to pray for friend and foe
near and far
family and stranger
people as pins on maps
clustered and scattered
who know you and reject you
for those in need
and those too full to need.


















You draw me close
and then release me
to bring you close to others
to serve
and love
and give
all I have received.

You fill my heart with joy
that warms
and glows
and bursts
into laughter,
song
and even dance.

You wrap me in your arms
and tell me
"You are mine"
with intensity that burns
and smoul…