Saturday, September 27, 2008

Lies, Fear, Roots and Laughter

The following was written on Monday, the 22nd, and should have posted then. For some reason it did not.

God, I sit here in your presence, not knowing quite what to say. I know there is deep pain inside of me that is easily triggered but I’m afraid to go there. This past weekend I learned about guardian lies—lies we believe that place barriers between us and the truth. I’m beginning to realize that my life is full of guardian lies.

I learned one of them at church yesterday when a friend was praying with me. I’ve avoided my prayer room since our family crisis overwhelmed me last week. Why? Because my prayer room is a place of honesty before you and I’ve been afraid that if I begin to look at what’s been happening with any sort of honesty and transparency, I will fall apart, unable to be strong for the rest of the family. But that is a lie. You reminded me of the angel you sent to me here in my prayer room two years ago and reminded me of his size and strength. You are with me and I don’t need to be afraid of being weak or falling apart. You are with me, and you are my strength.

During the Sunday morning prayer meeting, someone referred to the following:

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. ... He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Psalm 1:1, 3 NIV

You showed me, God, that when such a tree has deep roots, no storm can bring it down. I think of Hurricane Ike that damaged so many homes by fallen trees, or the huge storms we’ve had here that bring trees down. But you have been growing my roots deep in you so that this storm will not strike me down but rather, enable me to remain standing straight and tall.

I thought of something else too while I was praying with the crown of thorns. I’ve been asking you to enable me to have joy and gladness in every situation and you’ve been giving that to me. Saturday night, despite the heaviness from what I learned, I was able to laugh and joke with my online friends and then with my church friends Sunday morning. You are indeed answering my prayers! Thank you.

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