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Stepping Stone Oases

She sits in a small room, her eyes closed, hands open as she waits. Love, soaked into the walls, permeating the air, moves in and around her—a sponge absorbing the Presence. Years of prayer in this room tell.

Three huddle over the room. They too wait.

Can we show her?”

“Yes, but first she must feel the pain.”

“Isn’t that cruel?”

“It’s the only way she will understand.”

“I don’t know if I can watch.”

“We need her to harden as diamonds and soften as gold. Not all can take the heat and pressure but she can. She must.”

“Look! She’s screaming! Her sister is trapped under a car. They can’t get her out. Oh, whew! Finally! But the sister’s face is burned to the bone. Will she live?”

“Yes, but she will need a good surgeon for many years. The parents will spend much time and have great sorrow over this one.”

“And the one we watch?”

“She will feel abandoned, neglected, unwanted. She will choose to withdraw from others and walk alone.

“Alone? She’s just turned four!”

“Yes. She will hurt because of her choice, yet forget she made it.”

“And the pain?”

“Her mother will point her to us. We will provide oases.”


“Yes. Places, people and times of safety and protection.”

“Good. She will need them.”

“They will be what she remembers.”

The child plays on carpet by the window. Alone. Her uncle’s home is safe. The first oasis.

She who sits in the room looks back. She sees stepping stones across turbulent waters. The child stands on the first. It is enough for now. She who sits understands. The pain has breaks, the danger safety, aloneness love. Light, filling the room, pours into her—a solar panel absorbing the Presence for later need.

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Di said…
Oh my!!! Sweetie, thank you for telling me where the story was. WOW!!!!! I am speechless. It is soooo beautiful!!! And as always, it touches a place deep inside of me. Thank you!!!

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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …