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Swallowed by the Cross

As I finished writing the last post, I sat, bathed in the light of God's love, basking. I remembered the picture God showed me two weeks ago of him pulling me inside of himself so that I was completely covered by him like a hand in a glove and repictured it--completely enwrapped by my invisible God here in my chair. I thought back through the years that have passed since the scene in the story where I learned my father died. All that time, God has been a sheath of protection over me. Even when I wasn't following him he was there.

I opened my eyes and suddenly saw the cross on my wall in a new light. The black cross is me and the white cross is Jesus, enveloping me with his presence and light. A beautiful confirmation for me. This is real. I truly am encompassed by this God and Saviour who loves me so much.

Thank you, Jesus!


Di said…
Oh what a wonderful new way to see that picture!!! Thank you so much for posting a picture of it. I had copied it way back when but lost it when my computer crashed.

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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …