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Searching for Love: One Woman's Spiritual Journey through Same-Sex Attraction

“I knew a change had happened. For perhaps the first time ever, I was able to experience the intensity of my feelings without crossing the line into forbidden thoughts. There was no battle, struggle or temptation. It just was.”

Journey to Healing and Wholeness.

Others admired her faith but only when she publicly admitted her hidden sin did she find God’s power to heal. Searching for Love tells the story of a Christian torn between God and her desires, unsure at times which she wanted to win; of how God and his people walked her through her pain and drew her to God’s love. Regardless of your struggle, you too can find this love and healing.

• “I was hooked from the very first word. I even burnt dinner.”
• “Filled with raw emotion.”
• “You have altered my perception of God. Thanks for steering me back onto my path.”
• “So many references to Scripture and other sources!”

Excerpt from book
To Order

Page updated December 21, 2008


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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …