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Wrung out and Drained

What a week this has been! Speaking at the women's retreat last weekend was one of the best and most enjoyable times of my life. I loved it and had so much fun! I hope I can find other opportunities to speak.

I will share more about last weekend as I'm able. The reason I've been so silent this week is that despite how wonderful the weekend was, it took a big toll on me physically. I've discovered that standing still for a long period of time hurts my legs and feet a lot. After my first talk, when I went to sit down, I could hardly walk! By the end of the weekend, as I was driving the hour and a half to home, I was so grateful for cruise control because my foot and leg simply couldn't handle the gas pedal. I'm thinking there's a solution for that, so I'm not letting it get me down.

Aside from the pain, I was physically exhausted--wrung out and drained. It took three days for me to get back to "normal," and the fourth day, Wednesday, I was so busy again that I wasn't sure I'd be able to function on Thursday.

However, the book launch is in two weeks and other than arranging a venue and date, I had done nothing towards it before the retreat (mostly because I didn't have everything confirmed until the week leading up to the retreat). So trying to update my addresses, create and address invitations, putting information on posters, contacting various places to arrange public announcements (CHVN and the Free Press so far--thank you to both) has had to be squeezed into my exhaustion.

Mikael and I tried hand delivering invitations yesterday, but even though it might be cheaper than mailing (which I'm beginning to doubt), it took a lot out of me (though it was fun getting to know some of the city's suburbs and spend time with Mikael) so I'll be mailing the rest. Today I plan to visit some churches and bookstores to put up posters. I need to find people to help on the evening of the launch; plan and organize food and drink; figure out what I'm going to say and what parts of my book to read; get my hair cut; shop for something to wear that night and a whole host of other things that I either can't remember or haven't realized yet. Somewhere in there I need to finish applying for my passport so I can travel in the US this summer.

I have such a wonderful and supportive family. Tom is doing what he can to promote the book and book launch, Mikael told me he's proud of me and wants to help out any way he can (it's my Mother's Day present, he said, and plans to deliver some of the invitations by bicycle), the others are encouraging and helpful. Mons will play keyboard during the socializing part of the launch. I should have put that somewhere on the invitations and posters because his playing, on its own, will attract people to come. He is very enjoyable to listen to.

Enough! I have other things to share in other posts. Thanks for reading!


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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …