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Wounds and Reconciliation

The last thirty hours have been very difficult for me. This evening I took a gander through some of the long-neglected blogs to which I am subscribed and found one that spoke very closely to where I am: Back on...reconciliation by Kenny Warkentin. The entire post is worth reading but I want to quote what specifically hit me:
...when someone wrongs us, or we hold all the offenses in until one day it explodes and we put a boundary down and say, you hurt me and so you are unsafe. We spend so much time with the issue in our head, and never talk about it...and then we think it easier to just cut the person out of our lives, rather than realize that we too are in the wrong.
I'm not quick to cut people out of my life--in fact I'm loathe to do it--but I have labelled at least one person as unsafe because of sustained wrongs that have hurt me.
Recently I heard some great teaching on how David walked this out in his own life. Walking in meekness in the face of injustice. How often do we walk with meekness when we face injustice? When do we give it over to God to be our advocate...our help...our friend?
How do we walk "in meekness in the face of injustice?"
It got me thinking of my own life, and how I am prone to not speak out of [because of] passivity, out of [because of] the thought that the other person may not like me anymore. I am being challenged to step out of that and speak truth... I want to ask the Holy Spirit to search that I can work out my sin. I am not happy to stay stuck or in the same place, and I value people enough to want reconciliation, restoration, repair.
Search me, O Lord, and know my heart today.
Try me O Saviour, know my thoughts I pray.
See if there be some wicked way in me.
Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free!
--James E. Orr, 1936


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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

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Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …