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Erik's "Thing" for Mikael

From the heart of your brother, Erik; via the vocal chords of your sister, Willow:

Probably the most entertaining and "unique" person I have ever known -- Mikael. The last time we spent together was some of your last hours, and I'm honoured, and proud to have with you forged that memory. Forged heartily, as Thor's mighty hammer, Mjolnir, of mystic iron and golden hair of boar.

We were watching The Big Bang Theory -- it was the episode where Sheldon gets afeared of Penny and Leonard's bickering and runs away to claim sanctuary in the hallowed bowels of the local comic shop. You said it was a "meh" episode. Aside from asking if I'd downloaded the latest of episodes, one of the last things you said to me was, "If you and Jenn watch Gargoyles, please don't leave me out." We don't plan to; we are going to marathon the whole series in your honour. I'm sure you'll be watching when "the castle rises above the clouds" -- ha! Get it?? 'Cause.. from... the show.....


Planning your funeral the other day -- laughing more than crying to be sure -- correlated with the quirkiness to that of Pheobe's mom's (from Friends) where they handed out 3-D glasses. I think you would be stoked to know we aimed for a comparative air. You'd also prolly make fun of my superfluous words right now and say I sound like dad.

I always admired you and was proud to have you for my brother. I would always brag to people about your... "individuality"... How many times did I spam for you, "mikael's-misadventures-dot-blogspot-dot-com"? You brought me kayaking in the creek when you first bought what we now honour you with as a personalized "casket". I got a big blister on my thumb and you called me a wimp. We skated on the river a ton in the winter and we helped each other learn how. You always had valuable advice with which ingredients to make the best potions and the four-tiered magical properties that they maintained. You really, really liked Boggle. Was it your favourite game? I know you [eccentric-ly] played it alone, you enjoyed it so much. I think you beat me every time, but Willow always beat you, and I always beat Willow. How does that work? We started a fun tradition for a while there of going to cheap movies at Cinema City and then bouncing over to East Ocean for some mouth-watering A15. Oh, the salivation-induction of delectably savourable A15. Let us never forget the hairy wad of skin you gifted the restaurant's rustilly-nailed fence in an aerobatic maneuver that was characteristically unnecessary. Literally in the flesh, a part of you will forever linger in the sweet, sweet vicinity of our favourite Chinese restaurant.

Despite our indominable sillinesses, I love you, and hope that you know that. I don't think anyone else was in on this [typically] nonsensical joke of ours, but as we deemed this phrase to 'trump' all -- and was likely the last words between us -- "Your passport, my passport", Mikael... "Your passport, my passport."


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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …