Third Friday of Advent--Anticipation of What?

The Bible readings in the Mosaic meditations for the Third Week of Advent show an interesting contrast and comparison: Zephaniah 3:14-20, Psalm 126, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-24, Luke 3:7-20 and the following additional readings: John 16:5-15, Romans 8:18-25. (All quotes from the Bible below are taken from the NLT.)

Because God's people had turned their backs on him, thinking all the while that they were honouring him, God sent them into exile.  This was particularly onerous to them because their religious and social life centred around Jerusalem and the temple therein.  Three times a year the men of Judah were to travel to Jerusalem to celebrate the main feast days--days that reminded them of all God had done for them.  They couldn't do that in exile.  They couldn't offer sacrifices to God to atone for their sins and become spiritually cleansed without the temple.

Zephaniah talked about how God's people would be returned to Jerusalem.  Their troubles would be over, they would be filled with gladness, they would be able to once again enjoy the feast days and they would be completely restored.  It was a day they were hoping for and anticipating.

Psalm 126 jumps ahead to when those days were fulfilled.  It is a song the people sang as they travelled to Jerusalem for the feast days.  They had left Jerusalem for Babylon with tears but now they were returning with joy and singing.

In contrast to the tears and weeping God's people had in exile, Paul, in 1 Thessalonians tells us to be joyful regardless of circumstances because God keeps his promises--just as he kept the promise he gave through Zephaniah.

As the exiles in Babylon suffered in exile and longed for that better day of returning to Jerusalem, so we today suffer, waiting with anticipation to see the glory God will reveal to us and to see who God's children really are.  Even creation longs for that day.

God's people in the Old Testament got lazy.  They thought that because they were the children of Abraham, the children of the promise, they could live as they chose.

Many of us think the same way: "Because I've been saved, all is well and I'm going to heaven."

John the Baptist in Luke challenges that kind of thinking: “Do not think that you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father,' for I tell you that out of these stones, God can raise up children for Abraham.”  Prove that you have repented and turned from your sins!  It's not enough to say, "I've been saved."  If you don't "produce good fruit," if you don't live out your repentance and salvation, you won't be part of God's kingdom.  Jesus will divide people into two groups: wheat and chaff, valued and "useless," holy and common.  One he keeps; the other he tosses.

When I use the words "valued" and "useless," I'm comparing the wheat, which was valued by farmers because it provided sustenance, to chaff which was totally useless.  How does one become valuable to God?  In one sense, he values all of us.  He is not willing that any should perish.  And yet there is the chaff.  Wheat has substance, chaff does not and I believe that is true with our lives.  Do I have substance in my life or am I like chaff--looking like a grain of wheat but empty inside?

God wants us to be filled with the Holy Spirit and with fire.  These are the media with which John said Jesus would baptise.  The substance in the people who are wheat is God's presence.  Jesus said in John, "The world's sin is that it refuses to believe in me." As John the Baptist (and later James) said, it's not enough to say, "I've been saved."  If you don't live out your repentance and salvation, you won't be part of God's kingdom.

Paul W. Harrison (1883-1962) wrote, "Wherever God rules over the human heart as King, there is the kingdom of God established."

Does God rule over your heart?

Third Wednesday of Advent—Anticipation and Grief

Advent is a time of waiting—waiting in anticipation for the coming of our Saviour.  An advent song has been repeating in my mind--just a couple of lines:

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy praise.

It’s there when I wake up, it’s there as I drive; as I eat, as I go to sleep, it is always there.  But then, so is the Fount of all the blessings in my life. 

At my small group’s Christmas celebration last night, we passed a candle around the circle, each stating something we’re thankful for as we held the candle.   I spoke of how grateful I am for the church I am in and how I couldn’t have found a better church.

There are so many other things I could have expressed thanks for: I am safe in a warm house and warm clothes when the temperature plunges below -40, unlike the many homeless on our streets; I have a wonderful family; my marriage, which has been painful for most of its nearly 36 years, is becoming a source of joy; my sons are blessings to me in many ways—their love and gentleness, their “can-do” attitude, their incredible giftedness in music, art and other areas; I am surrounded by people who love me, online and in person; I could go on. 

I continue to be bewildered by my lack of grieving emotions.  Why am I so filled with joy 35 days after my son died?  Why haven’t I fallen apart?  Isn’t that what mothers are supposed to do when their children die?  I talked to my psychiatrist about that earlier today and she painted several possible scenarios:

Perhaps with the coming wedding of another son, I’ve suppressed or numbed the grief in order to function.  She doesn’t see me falling apart before that is over. 

One mother didn’t “fall apart” until the third anniversary of the death of her child.  I don’t want to wait that long though.  I would like to get it done and over with.  It’s hard to wait for the other shoe to drop, never knowing when the grief may hit. 

Another possibility is that I did all my grieving before Mikael died.  The year and a half before he took his life were tension-filled, never knowing from one day to the other whether he’d try to harm himself or how.  I remember being on constant vigil with my cell phone in case he would need me; coming home to blood streaked too generously across the kitchen door; sitting up with him through the night because he was afraid he’d hurt one of us; his joining me in my prayer room because he needed to be with me; his emotionally flat face and silent sitting, unoccupied, on the living room couch; the increasing darkness of his appearance; the sobs that wracked my body as others gathered around me to pray for my son.  I remember the pain of those months.  There is a sense of relief that I don’t have to live like that anymore.  Mikael is out of pain.  The fearful anticipation of him doing the unthinkable is over.

I am reminded of a story in the Bible.  David saw Bathsheba bathing on her roof, sent a servant to bring her to him and conceived a child with her.  God was angry, not only that David had taken someone else’s wife, but that he killed her husband to cover his sin.  In consequence, God was going to take the life of this child.  “David pleaded with God for the child.  He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground....he would not eat any food with [the elders of his household].”

When the child died, the servants were afraid to tell him.  “He may do something desperate.”  But David could tell something had happened and asked the servants about the child.  Yes, he had died.  What was David’s response?  He “got up from the ground.  After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshipped.  Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate.”

The servants were astonished.  “Why are you acting this way?  While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!”

He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept.  I thought, ‘Who knows?  The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Is this the place where I am in regard to Mikael?  I don’t know.  It would be cool to think I won’t fall apart with grief but there is no way of knowing that.  Someone last night likened grief to a tangled ball of yarn.  You never know what will happen when you pull a part of it—will the yarn come out smoothly or will pulling on it create a more difficult knot that seems impossible to unravel?

“Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy praise.”

Jesus is the Fountain of all the blessings in my life.  He is using these blessings and the difficulties to tune my heart to him so that, as I described in my book, together we can resonate like the two arms of a tuning fork.

Come, Lord Jesus!  Come!

Third Sunday in Advent--Peace

(Inspired by Andy Wood's sermon at Winnipeg Centre Vineyard this morning.)

Peace is a common theme around Christmastime.  We remember the angels’ words to the shepherds the night of Jesus’ birth: “Peace on earth, good will to men.”  But where is the peace?  There is no peace in Afghanistan where we send our young men to fight and die; there is no peace for Christians in Indonesia and India who are harassed, terrorized and murdered by those who hate them; there is no peace in Somalia, rated as the worst country in the world because of anarchy and lawlessness.  There is no peace in the jails of Columbia, no peace for children whose parents are addicts to drink and drugs; no peace for the mentally ill whose thoughts torment them with lies of failure, worthlessness and worse.  There is no peace.

There was no peace in the days of American poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  The Civil War was raging, his wife had died and his son had been seriously injured. He wrote a seven-verse poem which later was set to music and became a Christmas carolling favourite.  The last two verses say:

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep.
"God is not dead, nor doth he sleep!
The wrong shall fail,
The right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men!"

Jesus didn't promise peace for his day either.  He told his disciples: “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.  I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” (Matthew 10:34 NIV) The world has certainly experienced that in the last two thousand years.

What is peace?  In his sermon this morning, Andy Woods quoted one wag who described it as “the brief moment in history when everyone is loading their guns,” and then suggested that “peace is that something that fills the void with something good and right.  It brings restored relationships.” 

Do you have a void in your life?  Is there a place of emptiness that nothing seems to fill?  Thomas Merton, a twentieth-century leader of contemplative prayer, said, “We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God.”  That makes a lot of sense to me. 

In John, Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27 NIV)  This is the source of any peace we hope to have.

Peace with God transcends all problems in our lives, whether they are broken relationships, lost jobs or persecution by enemies.  Andy asked, “When was the craziest time you’ve felt peace?”  When did you experience peace at a time when peace made no sense?  For me, it was the morning of my son Mikael’s funeral.  A flood of unexplainable joy overwhelmed me and filled me with all that is good and right. 

Others this morning spoke of being at peace in a third-world city filled with election-day violence; of peace despite a son missing and unaccounted for in the middle of the night.  “Shalom,” “Peace,” is still the greeting in Israel though the country experiences little peace.  How can anyone know peace in such trying circumstances apart from God?  Is it possible?  I don’t think so. 

How do you think God wants to bring peace to you today?  Why not ask him?

Shalom!

Christmas Radio

Steve Bell, one of  Canada's top Christian recording artists,  has created an online radio station to play the Christmas music produced by his record company (are they still called "record companies"), Signpost Music.  I've been enjoying it so much that I thought I'd share it with you:

http://signpostvillage.com/christmas/christmasRadio_2009.htm

He's also got a great deal going on till the end of the month:  Buy ten CDs for $99.  That's ten dollars each and by listening to the music online, you'll have a good idea if you'd like it or not.

(No, he's not paying me to advertise for him.  I just like his music.)

Second Sunday of Advent--Hope

Today has been a bit more difficult than previous days.  I made breakfast but when I sat to eat, my stomach was so tied up in knots, I couldn't.  The knots stayed all through church and continue to clench my gut.  I'm crying more.  I think that's good.  After the pre-service prayer time, several people prayed for me.  Someone prayed that I would know it's okay to not be strong.  I think that's been a problem.  I'm accustomed to be strong for others and it's hard to be weak.  I need to be weak.  I am weak.  Is my exhaustion the result of working hard to stay strong?  I didn't think so but perhaps it is.

I think I'm out of touch with my emotions.  The only signs of grieving I recognize in me are the physical ones--tiredness, this knot in my stomach and the occassional grumpiness.  When I cry, there is no mental or emotional anguish.  I just cry.  Am I afraid to feel the emotions of grief?  Or are the emotions so strong my mind can't go there?

Gloria had a picture for me.  She saw, as it were, the Red Sea opened up, high walls of water on both sides of a dry path.  The path is for me.  It reminds me of photos I've seen of Norway in winter--the highway is clear and safe but the snow on each side makes it look like a canyon.  Hard to get lost on a road like that.  The readings for the Second Sunday of Advent include a passage about a road:

"Clear the way through the wilderness for the Lord!
Make a straight highway through the wasteland
for our God!
Fill in the valleys,
and level the mountains and hills.
Straighten the curves,
and smooth out the rough places.
Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed,
and all people will see it together.
The Lord has spoken!" (Isaiah 40:3-5 NLT)

That passage begins with a beautiful command:

"Comfort, comfort my people," says your God.
"Speak tenderly to Jerusalem."  (Isaiah 40:1 NLT)

Comfort is something my family and I need but what comfort can replace a son? a brother?  For those outside the family who loved Mikael, what comfort can replace a friend?  None!  But we have the hope of comfort.  We have the hope of the path being levelled, smoothed and straightened, where there are no obstacles, no death, no tears.

The Second Week of Advent is about hope.  It's a time of waiting with positive expectation: The Messiah is coming!  The writer of the first meditation for this week in the Mosaic Holy Bible acknowledges that not everyone feels that hope.

"...tragedy, depression or loneliness steals your joy.... But even if we lose our hope in God, he will never give up on us...and that is one of the reasons that the hope of Advent isn't dependent on how we are feeling.  It can be comforting to rely on the one who gives us hope, even when the light of that hope doesn't seem to penetrate our temporary darkness."

I'm grateful for authors who recognize that hope can't be felt by everyone.  Even more, I'm grateful to a God who supplies hope where there is none.  Whether my son lives or dies, there is hope.  Whether I feel or I'm numb, there is hope.  Whether I'm wracked with sobbing or beaming with bliss, there is hope.  "Comfort, comfort my people," says your God.

"Speak tenderly to Jerusalem.
Tell her that her sad days are gone."

I know I have many days of sadness ahead but I also know they won't last forever.

"...people are like the grass.
Their beauty fades as quickly as the flowers in a field.
the grass withers and the flowers fade
beneath the breath of the Lord
And so it is with people.
The grass withers and the flowers fade,
but the word of our God stands forever."  (Isaiah 40:6-8 NLT)

"The word of our God stands forever."  That is a great reason for comfort and for hope.  God's word neither falls nor fails.  It doesn't die of disease or accident or suicide.  It stands forever.  So be it.

Mikael--The Most Vibrant, Imaginative, Daring, Loving, Fun Friend...

by Marita Obst
November 19, 2009

There are so many memories...and they are all tangled up in my life, growing up, first love, Christmases, hilarious family dinners, and a family that I love as much as if they were my own.

I first met Mikael when I was 16, and he was the first of all of his family to talk to me and try to get to know something about me, and I remember that the first conversation we ever had alone was a deep, complex and thought-provoking one. We talked about faith, and God, and love and I informed Erik later that day that his brother was very, very cool. Over time, that initial respect I had for Mikael only grew, as he became someone I loved as a brother. Over time I got to know all of the Chans better, and loved them all for their own incredible talents; Mons' humor and vast intelligence; Erik's openness, love and creativity; Konrad's honesty and joy; Debbie's wisdom, acceptance and patience; and Tom's generosity and warmth. Every one has changed my life and who I have become, but Mikael was and always will be one of the most widely talented, sweet, imaginative, open-minded and Good men I have known, and will ever know, I'm sure.

I remember the last time I was in Winnipeg, in November of 2007, and most of my time spent there was with Mikael. We became closer, talked more than we ever had, went for walks to the library or just around River Heights. We went for coffee together to sit in amiable silence and write books, an endeavor in which Mikael was vastly more prolific than I was. We read each other's work and gave criticism and praise. I will never forget when he read something so raw and honest I had written about my past that I rarely shared, and fearing his response, all he said was "I didn't know that. I'm sorry" and gave me a hug, and it was the perfect thing to say. Mikael had an ability to empathize and understand people, he was a friend in the true sense of the word.

Mikael and I talked a lot about faith. He was the most open-minded and curious person I had ever talked to about God, Christianity and the concept of faith. His compassion and understanding inspired me, and made me think about life, death, love, and the motivations behind them all. For Mikael, I know that living for God and being good for God were his motivations in life (along with doing any and every daring feat that came to mind!) and that commitment and assurance amazes me and gives me hope that Mikael is in peace with his God, as he deserves to be.

I remember talking to Mikael about wanting kids and marriage. He described to me what his wedding would be like: a day-long hike up a mountain to come to clearing in which the ceremony would be held at sunset after a day of games. Pure and perfect Mikael. Any girl would have been blessed to have him by her side for life. I wish I could see it happen, because I know Kael would have been the best, most fun, most loving dad ever.

When I think of my growing years, the years where you develop the foundation of who you are, the memories that create you, and I subtract the time I spent with the Chan family, my whole life changes and becomes so much less. Less happiness, less laughter and love and contentment. I am truly blessed that I am able to include those experiences in my life, and Mikael was so much a part of that, that he is inextricably linked to who I have become. For that, and for his friendship I will always be grateful. Thank you Mikael for being the most vibrant, imaginative, daring, loving, fun friend, a person brimming with goodness. You inspire me. I'll love you, miss you, and remember you for the rest of my life.


(Reprinted with permission)

Peter Mikael Pan

by Lauren Kosta
November 22, 2009

To Peter Pan:  Mikael was so unique that to draw similarities to anyone else (even a fictional character) seems almost silly. Yet, what I saw when I looked at Kael’s adventures and the rather extreme games he invented, was someone who had somehow managed to keep hold of that childhood imagination that most of us lose as we grow up.  I remember one day we were going up the back alley to his house and for no apparent reason he climbed, laughing, into the tree in their back yard. I envied him in that moment as I did so many times.  When I was younger I loved climbing trees, but somewhere in my teens I developed cat like sensitivities in the form of fear of coming back down.  I’d cling to my life branch for much longer than I’d intended until someone coaxed me back down.  I watched Kael sitting on his throne of branches, even hanging upside down from his knees.  When he noticed his way up wasn’t as good for going back down (he had jumped into the tree off the fence) he didn’t worry -  if need be he’d simply jump or fall down from that height, but what did that matter, at least he’d be on the ground again right?

I always have trouble when people ask me what I want for Christmas, or birthdays etc. but Kael had very comprehensive lists. Interspersed throughout the usual books, board games, music and movies were requests for items from the periodic table of elements (which I was to learn later was for rocket fuel – of course, what else would they be for?)

Mikael was easy to talk to.  I don’t mean he was someone good at making small talk about the weather to break uncomfortable silences. Conversations with Kael were always interesting and as much as many of them were whimsical and fun, Kael was also never afraid to voice his most personal thoughts and feelings. From his voracious appetite for adventure and the resulting anecdotes, to the way he would open up allowing himself to be vulnerable as he shared his feelings, Kael was and is inspiring. I hope we can all continue to inspire others as we help him live on with our stories of him.

Among his many, many talents and interests, I will always remember his love of music and composing.  The last summer I was in Winnipeg, we briefly discussed how much fun it would be if he composed something for us to play.  What would you have come up with for us Kael? What labyrinths would you have had my fingers tripping over? What boundaries would you have challenged me to? What conversations would we have had violin to oboe?

I miss you Kael but I am glad you are at peace.  Don’t worry, your amazing family - who I feel so privileged to know - and your friends won’t let you be forgotten.  You did not fail, you were not helpless, you did so much more than many people will do in 100 years and you changed so many lives for the better.  I know my life was made better for knowing you.

(Reprinted with permission)

First Tuesday in Advent

Today is the first Tuesday in Advent.  Somehow the first Sunday in Advent slipped by me—I was exhausted from the craft sale the day before and focused on getting through the planting of an oak tree in memory of Mikael.  Advent is an important part of the Christian calendar.  It is in the weeks leading up to Christmas that we prepare ourselves for Christmas.  In our western culture, this usually means shopping, baking, decorating and lots of partying but it wasn’t always this way.  It used to be a time of spiritual waiting and preparation.

For what do we wait?  Christmas!  Specifically, we wait for the day when we celebrate Jesus’ birthday.  In the church calendar, the celebration of Christmas begins on December 25 and continues for two weeks after.  Christ’s birth was long ago, so as we wait and as we celebrate, we focus on that past event.  But we wait for something yet to come—Jesus’ return to earth.  He said he would come again and God always keeps his promises.

A few months ago I ordered and received Mosaic, the Holy Bible in the New Living Translation, fronted with a year's worth of weekly meditations based on the ancient church calendar.  I love the free-flowing spirit of my church—it’s one of the things that attracted me to it—but there is something to be said for a liturgical approach to worship.  As Christians we have a rich heritage with two millennia filled with thoughts, practices, understandings and ways of worshipping Jesus Christ.  Often, in our quest for the fresh and new, we ignore the depth of the past.  The meditations in Mosaic are fed by Christian expression from every continent and every century as well as generous portions of Scripture.  They are works of beauty.

Today I looked at four passages: Isaiah 2:1-5, Psalm 25, 1 Corinthians 1:4-9 and Matthew 24:32-51.  In the church calendar, the liturgical readings always include a passage from Psalms, one from the rest of the Old Testament, one from the Gospels and one from the rest of the New Testament.  I’m not sure how they’re chosen but usually one can find something that binds the four together.  I took notes as I read and came up with the following:

Isaiah 2:1-5 (I read beyond) NLT

Let us walk in the light of the Lord.

Israel was rejected because they

·         filled their land with practices (superstitions--NIV) from the East

·         filled their land with sorcerers (practiced divination—NIV)

·         made alliances with pagans.

Are we doing this now?  Yes!  As formerly Christian nations, we will pay for this. 

Psalm 25 NLT

Oh Lord, I give my life to you.  I trust in you, my God!

…Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.

Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,

For you are merciful, O Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:4-9 NLT

God will keep you strong to the end

So that you will be free from all blame.

God will do this because he keeps his promises and

He invited us into partnership with Jesus.

Matthew 24:32-51 NLT

We don’t know when Jesus will return

But there will be signs

And we must keep watch if we don’t want to be caught off-guard.

How?

By being faithful, sensible and doing what God has told us to do.

Condensing these notes, I arrived at this:

1. Walk in the light of God without Eastern religions, channelling, fortune-telling or alliances with non-believers.
2. Give your life to God and trust him to forgive past sins.  He is love and mercy.
3. When we choose to do this, God will keep us strong until Jesus returns so that we will be blameless.  After all, he keeps his promises.
4. Jesus will return—he said he would—so we must continue in God’s ways so we won’t be caught “with our pants down.”

Condensed more, I arrived at:

Past: God will forgive

Present: God will keep us strong

Future: We will be blameless

                          

Eschew other religions and their ways

Give your life to God

Trust God’s love and mercy

Is this what we are doing during this time of waiting?  Have we accepted God’s forgiveness?  Are we willing to walk in God’s strength so that we can abandon the religious practices of other religions that are part of the culture, give our lives totally over to God and choose to trust in his love and mercy?

Lord, this is what I want to do.  Please keep me focused on you and your ways so that no matter when you come or when I leave (who knows when they will die?), I am ready.  In Jesus’ name.