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Showing posts from January, 2010

The Energy Continues!

For the fourth day in a row, I have energy.  I have gone walking each one of those days and have managed to do some cleaning.  It feels so good to feel motivated to do things and be able to do them.  It's been months since I have, long before Mikael died.

Is the knee brace what's making the difference?  Tuesday was such a low day.  I wasn't sure I'd ever get out of the exhaustion and listlessness I had been feeling.  Wednesday I got my brace and everything changed.  I can move around without pain!  Is that all I needed, pain relief and mobility assistance?

It snowed all through the night and there have been no ploughs through the neighbourhood--it's still snowing--so walking was a bit more difficult this time.  Wading through three to four-inch snow will do that to you but I was able to do it.  It's beautiful outside.  The weather is warm, so the snow is damp and sticky.  Because there is no wind, the trees and bushes are laden with thick snow.  I wanted to ta…


Despite all my activity yesterday, I couldn't get to sleep last night!  Maybe all I did energized me instead of exhausting me like I expected, but I couldn't sleep till 7:30 this morning.  When I got up, I still felt energized.  I couldn't believe it!  So, with my brace on, I went for a walk around the block.  My knee did not hurt!  My unused muscles weren't too happy with me but my knee was fine.  I'm so pleased!  And although I am feeling tiredness come over me, I feel motivated to tidy up some of my messes.  Two good days in a row?  Very nice.  Maybe my exhaustion the last week and a half hasn't been grief as much as recovering from Konrad's wedding and the trip home from Vancouver.  Regardless, God is definitely answering the prayers of all of you.  Thank you for praying.

Today Was a Good Day

I want to thank all those who sent me notes and comments and all of you who prayed and have been praying for me (and the family).  Today was a much better day than yesterday.  For one, I managed to sleep at night, so when I had to get up for my doctor's appointment, I had had enough sleep that I could without too much of a fight.

I even dressed up nicely, wearing a business-style grey skirt with a black sweater covered with sequins on the yoke.  I have to wear a brace for my knee now, but I have been having problems so I've needed to go back to the store for help.  Since I would be out already, I figured today would be a good day.  Wearing a skirt would make it easier to work with the brace on my leg at the store.  Basically, I needed more information because, being unclear about how the brace works, I wasn't sure whether I should be sitting or standing putting it on.  It was sliding down; how do I prevent that and so on.  They were most helpful and I think I'm good t…

Not Doing Well

I'm not doing well.  Has the grief finally hit?  Perhaps.  I'm doing nothing much other than sleeping, I have no energy and I haven't been out of the house since returning from Vancouver except to see the doctor once.  I would appreciate your prayers.  Thank you.

Bestman's Speech for Konrad's Wedding

By Konrad's brother and Groomsman, Erik

I first met Konrad when he was expelled from the womb.
Bena came a bit later when she first visited that city of Konrad's expulsion.

An accurate way to describe Konrad is "in his own world".
But what is "his own world", exactly?
What is Konrad?
We just don't know.

One can certainly speculate.
To me, Konrad can be summed up in 4 words: art, music, Bena, and God. Probably in the opposite order. (Mikael, Konrad's older brother and Best Man, would probably add "confused" to that list.) Konrad began life engaging in activities such as eating butter, [melting crayons on the toaster oven and Easter eggs on his bedroom lamp], and running away from home naked into busy streets. One day years later he would come home late from work at the Saucers cafe down the street and proclaim proudly to me the degree of his drunkenness -- not that this would be something he would ever or often repeat, Bena. If anything, as…

Travelling to Our Son's Wedding

I'm sorry I haven't written here more.  We--Tom, Mons, Erik, Erik's girlfriend and me--left on December 20 for our son/brother Konrad's wedding in Vancouver.  We drove, taking three days to get there.  I wanted to do most of the driving but I found myself unable to so Mons took over.  I'm a terrible passenger and that night, as Mons drove, the sky was blacker than ink, broken only by thick fog that covered the road.  I tried to distract myself with my computer--I'd bought an adapter so we could plug our computers into the power outlet of the van--but it wasn't enough to keep me from breathing in through my nose sharply when I got scared, alarming Mons in turn who thought I was seeing a danger he couldn't.

I took over the wheel again the next morning.  It had snowed all night and the accumulation was threatening to keep us in the small town of Glendive, Montana.  I wanted to get as far away from it as possible but the highway didn't make that easy.  …

To Konrad and Bena on your Wedding Day

This was supposed to have been posted January 2, at the time of their wedding.

Dear Konrad and Bena,
Your wedding is a wonderful event to celebrate.  We’re so happy for you.  Konrad, you made a good choice.

There will be hard times.  Don’t give up.  There will be difficulties adjusting to living with each other—be gracious.  You come from different cultures so there will be differences in your views of things—be patient with each other. You will fight—make up quickly.  You will irritate each other with minor things—accept each other’s quirks.

When in doubt, choose grace and mercy.  Give each other lots of affection.  Stay grounded in your faith together—make time for God together and alone. The traditions you want to have with your children—start them now.  Never be so busy you don’t have time for each other every day.  Talk!  Your love has just begun—keep growing and nurturing that love.

May God bless you as you honour him.  May you be joyful and at peace—with God, with each other and wi…