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The Energy Continues!

For the fourth day in a row, I have energy.  I have gone walking each one of those days and have managed to do some cleaning.  It feels so good to feel motivated to do things and be able to do them.  It's been months since I have, long before Mikael died.

Is the knee brace what's making the difference?  Tuesday was such a low day.  I wasn't sure I'd ever get out of the exhaustion and listlessness I had been feeling.  Wednesday I got my brace and everything changed.  I can move around without pain!  Is that all I needed, pain relief and mobility assistance?

It snowed all through the night and there have been no ploughs through the neighbourhood--it's still snowing--so walking was a bit more difficult this time.  Wading through three to four-inch snow will do that to you but I was able to do it.  It's beautiful outside.  The weather is warm, so the snow is damp and sticky.  Because there is no wind, the trees and bushes are laden with thick snow.  I wanted to take pictures but I haven't figured out how to do that yet with my phone.  Besides, I didn't want to damage the phone by getting it wet with snow.

God is good.  Even if this energy, both mental and physical, doesn't last, it's been a wonderful gift and gives me hope that I won't spend the rest of my life in exhaustion.

Thank you, God!


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About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …