Skip to main content

Prayer Summit: Intimate Love

If I felt urged to do anything during the third session of the prayer summit, it was to move to the back of the gymnasium where we were meeting.  I seem often to prefer being at the back at church and similar meetings but is that an escape?  A way to observe instead of participate?  Why this urge?  Perhaps it’s because at the back I feel freer to be me and do what I’m moved to do, without feeling like I’m on display. 

Am I more of an observer than a participant?  If I am, is that bad?  If I am, am I missing out?  Or is my sitting in the back and writing another way to connect with God that’s as valid as dancing and painting?  For me, it’s a way to sit in God’s presence and simply be with him and I need that.

Oh Lord, you're beautiful,
Your face is all I seek,
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me. 
--D. Cleaveland and Keith Green

Come live in freedom here...
Come see with spirit eyes
Come see
The door is open...
His arms are open
--Michael W. Smith

See the love in his eyes

God’s arms are open and I can sit in his embrace.

Once again Ruth, the leader, stood up.  After about 45 minutes of silence, what emerged was a call to intimacy and to persevere in intimacy—particularly for the men: intimacy in knowing the Lord, knowing their wives, knowing their kids.

Men stay in intimacy only so long, she said, to meet their own needs and then they leave.  But men are to model intimacy.  The restoration of our family and our nation rests on the shoulders of men.  Love your wife as Jesus loves the church.  Men need to stay in the place of intimacy for our families and churches.  Sustaining intimacy is vital—with the Lord, our mates and our churches.

Oh God!  This is what Tom needs to hear.  Oh God!  He needs this.  I need him to need and want it.  Intimacy from and with Tom is what our marriage needs.

I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within...
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights...
And   I    surrender all to you, all to you
--Marc James

This is my prayer.  In (unknowing) answer to that prayer, Tom sent me an-email a couple of days later, suggesting a plan by which we could come closer and bring healing to our marriage.  Isn’t God good?


Popular posts from this blog

About the Author


I'm married (35 years in December 2008) with four grown sons. I love my city (Winnipeg) and my country (Canada) and promote them both to whoever will listen. God (through Jesus Christ) is the biggest part of my life. I am learning to let him take control of all areas--though I do better at this some times more than others.

I have written a book that's recently been published about part of my journey with God. In it I tell how God confronted me with the same-sex attraction issues I've struggled with all my adult life and how he led me through them to a deeper and more meaningful relationship with him. God is amazing—his forgiveness, his love, his movement in our lives when we allow him and so much more. I suspect God will never run out of things to teach me or ways to make me grow and that’s a good thing (though often very painful).

I suppose I can say that what gives me the greatest pleasure in life is telling others about…

Memories of Mikael Vincent Tien Doe Chan

Reviews of Searching for Love

If you have read the book, I would love to hear your thoughts on it. You may e-mail me at or post them in the comments section below.

A Real Testimony
I finished your book. A real testimony to what God does for us.
Leona March 3, 2009
I Had Tears Coming

I sat down to read it about a week later and ended up finishing it the same night. At first I admit I was a little bored and thought that the whole book was about a battle all in your mind, but as I continued reading this creeping thought came over me of a different...struggle in my own life, that I would never in my right mind have shared with anyone accept maybe God. I've mentioned your book to a few people because it stirs up age-old controversies that I have myself argued and wondered about, namely about whether or not homosexuality can be cured or just managed like alcoholism--you just have to stay away from temptation. I noticed at the end of your book that your struggle story …