If I felt urged to do anything during the third session of the prayer summit, it was to move to the back of the gymnasium where we were meeting. I seem often to prefer being at the back at church and similar meetings but is that an escape? A way to observe instead of participate? Why this urge? Perhaps it’s because at the back I feel freer to be me and do what I’m moved to do, without feeling like I’m on display.
Am I more of an observer than a participant? If I am, is that bad? If I am, am I missing out? Or is my sitting in the back and writing another way to connect with God that’s as valid as dancing and painting? For me, it’s a way to sit in God’s presence and simply be with him and I need that.
Oh Lord, you're beautiful,
Your face is all I seek,
For when your eyes are on this child,
Your grace abounds to me.
--D. Cleaveland and Keith Green
Come live in freedom here...
Come see with spirit eyes
The door is open...
His arms are open
--Michael W. Smith
See the love in his eyes
God’s arms are open and I can sit in his embrace.
Once again Ruth, the leader, stood up. After about 45 minutes of silence, what emerged was a call to intimacy and to persevere in intimacy—particularly for the men: intimacy in knowing the Lord, knowing their wives, knowing their kids.
Men stay in intimacy only so long, she said, to meet their own needs and then they leave. But men are to model intimacy. The restoration of our family and our nation rests on the shoulders of men. Love your wife as Jesus loves the church. Men need to stay in the place of intimacy for our families and churches. Sustaining intimacy is vital—with the Lord, our mates and our churches.
Oh God! This is what Tom needs to hear. Oh God! He needs this. I need him to need and want it. Intimacy from and with Tom is what our marriage needs.
I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within...
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights...
And I surrender all to you, all to you
This is my prayer. In (unknowing) answer to that prayer, Tom sent me an-email a couple of days later, suggesting a plan by which we could come closer and bring healing to our marriage. Isn’t God good?