Skip to main content

In God's Arms

Below are a few paragraphs from my book, Searching for Love, that describe the first time I ever felt God's arms around me.  I am currently writing something that will refer to this.

Another friend I was visiting had taken an incredible spiritual journey and I was looking forward to spending time with her. I thought we would spend our two days together talking and we did lots of that, but she had a very busy schedule and invited me to join in her activities. I agreed, wondering what else God had in store for me. 
One event was her centring prayer class. She had tried to explain it to me and was, I think, a bit nervous that I might misunderstand or not “get” it. However I had already been introduced to the concept by a friend back home and was intrigued so I was eager to join her class. In fact, the night before, I got so sick with altitude sickness that I became convinced God wanted me at that class and that the enemy was doing all he could to keep me away. 
The idea of centring prayer is that, instead of coming to God with questions, requests and other agendas, we come to God merely to be in his presence. Those who promote this form of prayer would never suggest that other forms of prayer should be disregarded; on the contrary. Rather, the simple act of regularly coming into God’s presence for no other reason than to enjoy him can have a life-changing effect on a person. After one session, I agree. It was one of the most incredible experiences I have had! 
The leader was somewhat concerned that I might not be able to handle 40 minutes of absolute stillness and quiet. The class was level four and the women had started out slowly months or years before. I figured that at the very least I could spend the time talking with God and concluded that God wanted me there, that he was providing me an opportunity for something about which he’d already been talking to me and I should try it. 

I decided that if I was to be in God’s presence (which we always are anyway, there’s nothing we can do to escape being there), I needed a picture in my head of what that looked like. For over a year, I had been trying to imagine what it would be like to be cuddled in God’s lap. I hadn’t been able to do it. 
Leanne Payne, in Listening Prayer and other books, talks about the importance of having a holy imagination. I didn’t understand when I first read it. I knew I had a very unholy imagination, one that refused to be reigned in, but in this time of prayer with my friend and her classmates, I experienced something new. I was able to imagine myself sitting on God’s lap, my head pressed against his chest and his enormous arms enveloping me. I spent the entire 40 minutes cuddled up with him like that, gently letting all thoughts but the one phrase, “He loves me,” move through and out of my head without dwelling on them. I think I had a smile on my face the whole time. 
I had never experienced anything so incredible in my life. I finally knew what it was like to be loved, treasured, valued, wanted, held; no other arms could give me what he was giving me; no one else could satisfy me as he was; all my imaginations of the past were filthy rags compared with the few minutes I spent in my imagination with God that day. I knew, when it was over, that this was one experience I would repeat often and I have. Oh! What wonderful bliss! As I experienced this time with God, all other experiences and imaginations paled and lost their attractiveness. I could see that as this became an integral part of my life, in a way I had never known before, God would become all for me. 
See, I’d known that God’s love was all I needed, that God, in all my needs, was all I needed, but I hadn’t truly believed it because I’d never really experienced it. It is amazing how we can know things in our heads, believe that they are true, and yet not really believe them in a way that makes any difference in the way we act, think or feel. 


Popular posts from this blog

Monogamous, Homosexual Unions--My Position and the Story behind it

I've been asked to be one of two participants at church each representing opposing views on the matter of monogamous, homosexual unions, moderated by the pastor.  In preparation, I have written the following.  In the comments, please do not post any vitriol--from either side. If I think any comment is hateful, I will delete it. Respectful disagreement or questions are welcome, however.

My Position and Values:
I believe that sexual relations between two people of the same sex is contrary to God’s will.I would like to say otherwise but I find nothing in Scripture that allows me to do so.BEING homosexual, having a longing or desire for someone of the same sex, is not condemned in the Bible.  We all have desires that are contrary to God’s will.  The sin occurs when we feed those desires, like Jesus talks about when he calls lust adultery (Matthew 5:28).Much cruelty to LGBTQ people has happened because of the stance of the Church. We have not acted with love, compassion and listening ear…

In My Prayer Room

Oh God
You surround me with your love,
with memories
of who you are
of what you've done
of promises you've made
of who I want to be
of who I am because of you.

You give me hope and joy,
peace and gratitude.
You convict me
and teach me
encourage me
and remind me
of what it means to follow you.

You listen to my prayers
and grant my requests
in your time.
You give me insight
and knowledge
and words to write
to share your presence
your goodness
your love
your admonition
with others.

You expand my love
to pray for friend and foe
near and far
family and stranger
people as pins on maps
clustered and scattered
who know you and reject you
for those in need
and those too full to need.

You draw me close
and then release me
to bring you close to others
to serve
and love
and give
all I have received.

You fill my heart with joy
that warms
and glows
and bursts
into laughter,
and even dance.

You wrap me in your arms
and tell me
"You are mine"
with intensity that burns
and smoul…

Eulogy for Mikael

It's 3:13 a.m. as I write this, just hours before Mikael's funeral. I've slept 2 1/2 hours already but when I woke I couldn't get back to sleep. I am so full of joy I have no room for grief. I lay in bed two hours ago, feeling this joy well up into near excitement, undergirded with a peace and contentment that to most people would make no sense. I'm not sure it makes sense to me but I know it's real. God has been so good. He has poured out his blessings on us this week and I feel like we are the most blessed family in the world right now.
I can't imagine life without Mikael. I'm still in shock, running on adrenaline and the drive to give Mikael the best farewell ever and not wanting to miss a moment of the flood of family and friends who have been pouring into our home with cards, flowers, meals, goodies, more meals and goodies, love, prayers and memories. I've been sitting in an armchair where I have a straight line of sight to the front entrance, a…