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Showing posts from January, 2011

No One's Dying on MY Watch!

Part 2--a continuation of yesterday's story

I kept in touch with my new friend from yesterday's story.  Less than a week after her husband had been arrested, she came online talking about suicide.  I know it sounds odd.  Hadn't she been freed from her torture?  But usually, we don't have just one problem in isolation; rather, when they come, troubles come tied up with other issues.  I guess the issues had become so great, even with her husband out of the picture, she saw no room for hope.

It's a scary thing to be told by someone that they're planning to take their life, especially if that person has a plan and she did.  She'd already asked her dad to come to get her kids.  It was midnight!  Wouldn't he wonder?  No.  She'd told him she was sick.

I know that one thing police do when someone is threatening suicide is to keep the person talking, so that was my goal.  I would keep her online, talking, until she could promise me she'd be alive in the…

She Actually Did It!

She was a stranger in a chat room I frequented, asking questions of faith and evidently very troubled.  The answers she was getting were true, but simplistic and not taking into consideration the pain she was in.  No one seemed to care about that, so I began to talk to her privately.

"You want to share what's troubling you?"

"An abusive husband."

"Abusive in what way?  Physically, verbally, emotionally, sexually?"


"Can you leave him?"

"I have tried."

"What happens when you try?"

"Last time I tried I got hurt.  I haven't attempted in a month or so."

"Hurt how?  By him?"

He had caught her at the door and thrown her against the wall.

As she began to unfold the nightmare she was living, I was horrified.  I've known these things are done but to come so close to someone experiencing it made all the more real.  I was scared for her.  No one should live with the stuff she was.


Melting Ice and a Life of Thankfulness

Last Tuesday I encountered someone who made some (wrong) assumptions and treated me as though I had just murdered someone.  At least that's the way it felt and I fell apart--for nearly a week.  I spent most of Thursday in bed, numb. I spent the evening bawling and came close to calling the Mobile Crisis Unit.  I know that sounds like an over-reaction but that's the way it was.  Thankfully, Tom saw my pain and did what he could to show he cared.  By Saturday evening I wasn't much better so I sent an e-mail to those I know who pray for me asking for prayer.  One of the people to respond was my pastor who met with me on Monday to see how he could help.  I didn't expect what he said but it makes sense.

He thinks that my grieving for Mikael has been delayed and likened the grief to an ice cube.  Because I was already depressed when Mikael died, it's as if the ice cube was dropped in a glass of very cold water, so it's taking extra time to melt.  I suggested that the…

New Year's Day Ramblings and Thoughts

New Year's Day.  Outside it is -16C, -28C with the windchill (4F, -18F).  My husband bundled up as though it is -79 (cold no matter what measurement you use) and went for a walk.  Now he's lit the fireplace beside me and is shuffling platters of Christmas cookies on the coffee table to find room for his acrylic paints.  At 3:06 p.m. there is only a bit more than an hour of sunlight left; not that it's all that sunny anyway.  It was, but the sky is now aluminum-grey--or maybe it just appears that way to me since I can see only a small swath of sky below the awning of my living room window and above the tall trees and houses across the street.  Usually, colder weather means clearer skies, something I love about winter on the Canadian Prairies.

I'm sitting here, in my favourite chair--short enough for my legs and wide enough for the rest of me.  It's upholstered with Victorian brocade but my feet are resting on a green, leather-covered backwoods stool with the bark st…